saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
