i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
