i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
This is the high leading the old right now
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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