The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
