Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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