I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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