Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize