I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
one might say we're banned from that church
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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