I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
