apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
