and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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