oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
