my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
