I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
