so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I wear drunk well.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
