Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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