in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
