i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The air was thick with penises
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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