you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
