No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
