For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
True strength comes from lack of pants
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
