I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
