I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
