She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
