you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
