lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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