I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize