I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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