naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
