dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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