I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
do herpes really smell.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
