i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
