Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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