I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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