We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
