she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
