so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
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