Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
