Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
