I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
