i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
we should paint friendship bongs
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
