to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
