Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i would punch a child for taco bell
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
where are my eyebrows?
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