so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
