We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
