he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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