I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I forgot how hot balto sounded
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Randomize
