Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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