I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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