the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize