She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
