i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
