And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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