i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
