not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
