508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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