She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
