At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
