we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
