They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize