her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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