You really coming over, don't trick.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Randomize
